The Itch.

I am, by nature, a creative person. I crave something to shove my eccentric thoughts into and in my career, this is seriously deprived. I want to create something lasting, something that will follow me and I can be proud of.

I long for a day when I can spend my days immersed in culture and inspiration that can feed this creative monster that has recently been growing inside me. I want to write, I want to dream, I want to soar for the unattainable and possibly...reach it.

If I keep suppressing this side of me, I feel as though it will reach the depths of my being and disappear. I don't want that. What kind of life would I have if it broke away from me? I don't want to live in a world where I can't see that it is cerulean, not blue. Where a book is just words and not a story waiting to be told.  I want to be heard, I want to listen, I want. I want more.

We live in a world where people compartmentalize their lives and don't show their entire self to all parts of their life. I hate the idea that people are not truly being themselves and it really scares me that I have so easily followed their lead. I have slumped and become complacent with just being fine or ok. Its not OK. I want to succeed, possibly need to succeed, but at what cost? Is success and materialistic wealth worth the pressure? Can I live with mediocre? Can I live with so many questions, and no answers?

I want to feel fulfilled and inspired. I want to travel and adapt to a better lifestyle. I want to loose my fear of failure. I am grateful for what I have, but there is more to life and I want to experience it all...

...Someday.

CONVERSATION

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